As my son approached adulthood, and as my husband and I had to recognize the truth of our aging and mortality, each of us had to start trying to learn new relationship ways and relating skills. We knew we would always be our son's best parents but not necessarily his best caretakers or catalysts for his adult, more independent growth and development of self. But that awareness came with the knowledge that we needed to move ourselves through this next separation phase at a pace that honored my son's capacities as well as our own emotional edges as we pulled back. We needed help!!! In comes Elizabeth.
It's not easy disentangling so many years of special needs parenting habits that once served us so well. Really not easy. But the exciting part in this emotional, and often times confounding process, has been the promise of more of our lives back as parents and the real possibility of watching our son one day grow in ways we are less the impetus for. Growth more driven by him and supported and nurtured by other adults.
Elizabeth has helped us recognize that the loving and hard work of disentanglement is essential for everyone in our family to manage well and even thrive. Did I say thrive?! This is my hope. Intellectually I have understood that our 21 year old son's growth toward adulthood can only be truly successful when the process and effort is a fit for all in the family, but I couldn't give myself permission to embrace that until working with Elizabeth. The work is exhausting at times, but having her help gives me hope for all our futures.
As a parent of an adult with different abilities, I treasure the guidance from Cambier Consulting. After 10 years of research, therapies, programming, schooling, IEP-ing, I detached myself from the process and let the professionals do their job. Now, as a parent with an adult who has nowhere to go, we are on our own. Elizabeth has patiently guided back into an interactive relationship with my son that has redeveloped my ability to slow down enough to listen to his needs, honor his requests, and find a level of independence for both of us.