This book is geared towards neurotypical children with Anxiety and OCD but I found it incredibly helpful.
In general parents shouldn’t accommodate their children’s anxiety responses. For instance, if they don’t want you to open the windows because of air pollution. That’s fine for them to do in their own room but for the rest of the family, they should do as they see fit and not keep everything closed to accommodate the OCD or anxiety behavior of the child.
However, my clients have an additional layer, their disabilities. For example, if someone is unable to understand that you are talking to them from a distance, you may need to walk up closer and let them know that you are. This is accommodating the disability. These things can be hard to distinguish between. This book really helped me see how parents can get so tangled up around these issues.