Our brains are wired to notice when things do not match and it makes us uncomfortable. In my sessions with my clients I use this idea to talk about so many things. One example, “I am noticing that what your mouth said doesn’t match what your body did”.
When we notice the incongruence (doesn’t match) we are presented with a choice and since we feel more comfortable when things are congruent (match) we are motivated to “fix” the incongruence. It creates a choice and with choices we build agency. These are not simple choices like “what do you want to eat? ” This type of noticing brings about more meaningful choices.